It's a Strange World after all...

So I leave work tonight...

O.K., technically it was yesterday.

So sue me - I'm a 'shifter'.

Anyway, I had to stop at the corner market to patch up my wreck of a van for the 13 mile trip home. I have got to get a new ride! The radiator doesn't leak any more but now it's a leaky tire.

So I did my business at the free air pump and, as I'm preparing to get back into the pitiful van, I see a guy crossing Cedar Street on foot. No big deal, I figure he's taking a shortcut to Lincoln through the market parking lot.

But he's crossing the street diagonally, headed straight for me and he's walking very intensely - Almost like one of those speed walkers, only hunched over more.

I didn't give it much thought as I got into the van and fished in my pocket for the keys. But then I turned to look again and he's much closer now and he's still coming directly toward me. And he's close now - maybe 20 feet away... I get the keys in and start up and this guy is right on me...

And he looks sort of like this:
Only a lot scarier and crazier looking...

And it's dark, almost midnight, no one else is around and he's not letting up on that intense speed-walking thing...

I'm starting to get a little concerned...

Now I like to think that I can take care of myself. I'm a super-cautious type of person - A belt and suspenders type of guy. I circle my van before I get in and, yes, I look into the back to make sure no psycho is lurking in there to kill me me when I get in. I don't carry a gun but I keep a tire iron under the seat just in case I need it. I like to tell myself that if worse comes to worse I could probably kick at least 50% of the butts that are out there and, if all else fails, I know that I can run faster than the average 39 year old.

But I didn't really have time for any of that. By the time I realized this nutter had me in his sights, all I could do was slam the van door shut and hit the lock... Just as he grabbed the door handle!

I yelled something like "What the phlox are you doing?" To which he responded, "Wharughhhhhhh!" and held up to the window what, for the life of me, looked like a half-eaten candy bar.

I put the gear selector in 'R' and punched the accelerator. My rear-view mirror caught the guy's arm and sort of spun him around. He didn't fall though - he just did that freaky-intense-walk thing right into the market where he passed the cop coming out with with his sandwich and super-sized coffee.

The cop didn't seem to notice anything unusual.

I pulled over to the squad car as I saw crazy guy in the market gesturing wildly to the lady at the register, half rolled down my window and asked the cop, "What's up with that guy?"

"Oh him? Uh, Why?"

Why? Well, I don't know him from Adam but he just just tried to get into the van with me and he wanted to give me a partially consumed snack item...

"Aw, he's harmless. He probably forgot to take his medicine...

AGAIN."

Reassure me please folks, this kind of thing happens to other people all the time. Right?

Right?