News of the web...

Very shortly we will be hooked up with a broadband connection.

Yes, I'm still on dial-up.

I know.

Several friends and acquaintances have commented, rather disparagingly I might add, along the lines of, "You still have 'dial-up'?"

As if I'm some kind of redneck with a broken-down pickup truck sitting in my back yard.

Um...

Seriously, though, I may be the only person in the universe with his own web server, domain name and website who still dials in to FTP.

Mon Dieu!

Yes, it's sad and true, but not for long. My DSL modem is set to arrive next Monday. And I also get a discount on my phone and satellite TV bills, a true static IP address and another new email address (to go along with the other half dozen I never use).

Ah, the wonders of technology.

And, my broadband connection will alllow me to find really stupid stuff a lot faster. Stupid stuff like this:

Rush Limbaugh is in trouble for having non-precsribed drugs again. This time though, it's Viagra. Excuse me for a moment while I go laugh so hard that my eyeballs bleed. I'm sorry, I don't mean to make light of Mr. Limbaugh's serious addiction to painkillers. He's being treated for the addiction and is hopefully off them for good. But getting caught with illicit Viagra? That's like getting caught trying to sneak a six of O'Doule's into the senior prom - it's just asking for ridicule.

Glad I could help.

And then there's the new story about Axl Rose. This guy just can't seem to hold it together for more than a few months at a time. Now he's gone and bit a security guard on the leg during a drunken melee in Scandinavia. The remaining GnR dates are in question as the former Mr. Bailey tries to buy his way out of serious jail time in a foreign country. Geez, man, why not invest a miniscule portion of your billions of dollars in some therapy or something instead? It's bound to be cheaper.

God bless and good night!